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Date Listed 03-Apr-17
Address Kingston, ON K7M6B9
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For Sale By Owner

Hi, I'm here to help.

Let's face it, your garden gnome is driving you crazy. Always looking at you with that evil little smirk. I'll bet he licks all the food in the refridgerator and urinates under your bed while you're at work. Sure you lock your doors, but it's no use.

Ever get a sliver? Your gnome made that happen. Heartburn, muscle cramps, general feelings of unease, lost car keys? That's the gnome too.

Life's too short to accept that this is just how it is, and maybe things will turn around. You deserve to be happy! You deserve a fridge of unlicked food!

What most people don't know is that the gnome is acting out because it's not in it's natural habitat. This is where I come in. I'm a professional. I'll take your gnome, rehabilitate it and relocate it to it's happy place in the forest.

Best of all, I'll do it for free. The joy of seeing these misunderstood creatures happy and where they belong is all the payment I require.
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