To burn and stay lit for God

This is my testamony I have been in a battle most of my life with darkness because i refused to accept Gods full love and not truly understanding what God had in store for me and everyone in heaven and for what our Lord and Savior Jesus did for us when he was crucified on the cross for all of our sin's. Growing up all i was consumed was all lies. I was in and out of jail, doing crime and the hatred i had in me for others was fierce. I grew up in the gang life that made me push everyone away but my so called "boys" from the hood i grew up in. My best friend ended up hanging himself and another friend shot and killed in an alley way. That made me think about where my life was heading and being betrayed by other gang members for gelousy and a he say she say rumors. I ended up growing out of that life after that, moving away and avoided certain people for retalliation reasons and bad influence's. I ended up losing a baby. I went back to jail for over 4 years in a detention centre fighting trial and i gave up on everything in jail including my faith at one point. Few years later my mother was dying and on her death bed and i was given only one chance to see her alive on her death bed or a funeral. I chose to see her in person in hospice wearing all orange jumpsuit and hand cuffed and shackled while i visited her. What hurt the worst was she was so bad off she did not recognize me at all and and she cut the visit short as she thought i was a little boy and said go stand by the door like a good little boy because she wanted to go. She was so sick she was delussional and was telling me to tie her shoes but she was in socks. When i left i cried the whole rest of the day and i reached out for help from God. I spent time in jail doing bible study, reading bible and going to the jail chapel. I asked God to help me get out and i would continue to read the bible and pray when i get released. I was released only to assist with taking care of my dad as he had few weeks if that left to live. My dad passed away, unfortunately the whole time i was out of jail i lied to myself and God and i did not read the bible or pray only to smoke marijuana non stop for years. I then metand fell in love with my now beautiful wife who i love so very much and she eventually brought me hope, happiness, joy to me. I also thank her for helping me and saving me. We now both take this journey of life and faith together which is amazing. My little sister recently passed away and i was devastated. I was still smoking marijuana and taking opiods all the time trying to relieve pain, frustration and anger inside myself. I decided to go seek help for opiods addiction and i also started going to church to seek God thinking he abandoned me because i lied and abondoned God. After few weeks of church service I was asked if i wanted to start over and be born again. I did not know what that meant but i accepted. They said being born again is to be baptised with the holy spirit. The next week I was then baptised with my beautiful wife and i was feeling better about myself and having more faith in myself and with The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. I continued to still smoke marijuana and take opiods but also reading Gods letters from the Holy Bible and i would pray. Recently i was up all night doing drugs and i fell asleep and i was awoken in the middle of the night by a voice. It still gives me chills thinking about it and how an amazing feeling it truly was. The voice said "what are you doing?" "Why are you doing this to yourself?" It wasnt a voice to actually hear, almost subliminal or like a thought but i knew who this voice was right away with goose bumps all through my body. It was The Holy Spirit and i knew what exactly he was telling me just with that question. He asked me to stop doing drugs because it was destracting me and pushing God away. I then said "both of them, all at once?" As in stop doing both marijuana and opiods. He said "yes" so i accepted and agreed. Im telling you who ever wish's to read this testamony, it was an amazing feeling to communicate with God either The Father, The Son Jesus and The Holy Spirit as all are God. To have God in your life and his love for us is the absolute best feeling any anyone can ever imagine. Thank you Father for your unconditional love Thank you Lord Jesus for sacraficing your life on the cross for our sin's and for the gift of The Holy Spirit who dwells within us. In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Amen.